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Post by Geoffrey Merchant on Aug 8, 2008 20:18:34 GMT -5
Dammit. Way to go, David Geoffrey Merchant. Way to go and mess everything up again. Like that was news, though. It was bound to happen. He messed everything up, always ruined it. Not only did he always ruin every aspect of life for himself, but somehow he managed to hurt other people in the process. Like now.
Part of him wanted to stay back. To stay here, to pivet around and go find himself a room. To remain alone, not only now, but for the rest of his life, like he so deserved.
But a part of him knew he couldn't leave it like this. It would tear at him, rip him apart. It didn't matter who it was, how well he knew them... or did it? He knew this couldn't wait. There wouldn't be another chance, a 'just wait for morning.' If he let her leave, she'd be gone. And, despite how timit he generally was, he wasn't stupid either.
"Klara." He called after her, merely lengthening his walk to catch up to her. He froze temporarily, realising this was the first time he had spoken her name directly to her. Picking up a jog he slowed beside her, willing her to stop so he didn't have to reach out for her. He didn't want to put himself out there like that, risk her lashing out.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He mumbled, having already said that so many times tonight. "I ruin everything." He mumbled. "I don't regret kissing you." He added wearily, fearing she'd spit back at him that she did. He half expected it, half hoped she would. "I just... I'm... I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm sorry." His voice was so steady, so soft, if you hadn't known what was going on, you might not recognise any trace of pain behind his words, despite the quiet tone. "I ruin everything." He repeated, this time to himself. He ran a hand through his hair as he had earlier, awkwardly, so visciously unsure of himself.
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Post by Klara Genesis on Aug 8, 2008 23:35:45 GMT -5
The door to the barn was in view and she tried to focus on it with all of her mind, ignoring the sounds of Geoffrey calling her then following. He was suddenly beside her and she stopped, against her better judgment. Her eyes burned with fury, but she kept from looking at him as she tried to focus on what he was saying.
How could he think so low of her?! She just couldn't get over it. Klara swallowed and tried to clear her mind. 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I ruin everything.' Well, she certainly hadn't expected him to follow, much less to apologize. Why else would he have said what he did if he hadn't meant to hurt her? This made her turn to face him, puzzlement mixing with anger in her expression. Her cheeks were pink, though this time not from embarrassment.
"I don't even know...how that thought would cross your mind."
She swallowed, trying to keep herself angry so she wouldn't seem weak and fall into his arms, "After all that I've...risked." Klara couldn't look at him anymore, moving away a step so she could lean against one of the stalls. This way she'd be less tempted to slip her arms around him. All it had taken was one embrace, one kiss, and he had yet a stronger hold on her than before. How had he done it?
Klara reached up and rubbed the bridge of her nose, feeling a slight headache building, "I don't..." She sighed and looked at him again, not sure whether to slip her arms around him or stay angry and leaned against the stall.
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Post by Geoffrey Merchant on Aug 9, 2008 0:05:32 GMT -5
He wasn't sure how to react to her words. Did he wrap his arms around her? Did he walk away? "I don't know either." He agreed, wondering, trying to remember the thoughts that had caused him to react the way he did.
He began to contemplate the routes he could take, the ways he could make it better. Or easier, for her anyway. As he opened his mouth to speak and gingerly reached a hand out, she spoke first, and her next words cut him. Quickly retracting his hand, he continued to register what she had said. So that's what matters... the risk? He thought, eyes and lips turning down in a bit of a frown. So she didn't care that she might lose him, lose their chance, but cared that she had taken a risk.
But he wanted to get to know her better. He wanted to hold her again, to touch her. To know her beyond the physical level they'd currently met on. They had somehow managed to, in the weeks desiring each other, garner a false sent of knowledge for each other. Or he assumed anyway, which was what lead up to tonight, to now. To acting like it was more then just two people who barely knew each other.
So he leaned against the stall in front of her, close enough that he could feel her breath on her. Carefully he placed his hand on her hip - she could pull away, or fall into him. His instincts and characteristics were blaring that he shouldn't, that he was being stupid - that she would pull away, leave like everyone else.
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Post by Klara Genesis on Aug 9, 2008 0:44:37 GMT -5
She'd been so caught up in everything that she hadn't realized how selfish she'd sounded. Wow, maybe he'd been right. Not about her using him, but about her being a spoiled girl. He'd of course never said this, but Klara had been pretty convinced that he'd thought it.
Every thought in her head seem to pause or stop as she watched him reach toward her, then stop as she spoke of risk. Damn. He'd risked things too! Probably more than herself. His job was at stake, and a paycheck was probably more of a necessity for him than for someone like her. She'd had everything handed to her since she was born...
Plus, she'd completely overlooked the fact that...this entire situation wasn't about risk, or even rebelling, but about an...opportunity. Her chest very suddenly felt heavy with guilt, and her anger instantly disappeared from her face and from her heart. Wow, she'd done this all wrong.
Klara watched as he moved closer, amazed that he'd still want to be near her after the way she'd acted. The moment his hand touched her waist, she felt her heart flutter again. An instant later, she'd slipped her arms around him and pressed close, touching her forehead to his collarbone. "I'm so very sorry..." Her words were soft enough that if there were any one else in the room with them, they'd be unable to hear.
She didn't apologize often, but she took responsibility when she knew she'd done something wrong. And in this situation, she'd done almost everything wrong...
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Post by Geoffrey Merchant on Aug 9, 2008 1:11:44 GMT -5
Instantaneously what had happened was pushed to the back of his mind. He had apologised, she had apologised, he had forgiven, and assumed she had too since she parallelled the apology. But now he felt guilty for causing her to feel guilty. Oh, what a viscious cycle.
"Don't be sorry." He breathed, lips murmering as they moved against her silken hair. He had bowed his head over her to get as close to her as possible, arms held tightly around her. "You have nothing to be sorry for." He gave her a bit of a squeeze, his shoulders curling around her. "This is who I am. I hurt everyone around me. No matter what I do, I mess everything up. It's bound to happen. Don't blame yourself." He spoke so matter-of-factly, it was as if he was giving someone the date. This was the farthest he had yet to let her in - he was giving her a glimpse of his past, his present, his future. An accidental peak into the broken that he was, the broken that was his past. The broken that was his now, even though it was so well hidden and masked behind false and now possibly, real, happiness.
It had been a while since he had removed his shirt. Enough time had passed for the barn to cool down, and a chilly draft to take over for what had been blistering heat earlier. But, that's what it was like at most barns; sickly hot during the day, and surprisingly cold by night.
"You must be cold." He said with concern framing his voice. He touched her arm, as if to prove a point by feeling the delicate silk of her robe. Stepping to the side, he broke the embrace. "Do you want to go back now? Or... I can find you something." He asked hopefully, even though he had limited amounts of clothing in the barn.
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Post by Klara Genesis on Aug 10, 2008 12:44:46 GMT -5
She kept herself close to him, her racing mind finally slowing, her thoughts becoming comprehendible. But she didn’t want to pay attention to her thoughts, in stead; Klara was focused on the feel of his skin against her forehead, the scent of him. Damn. She’d have to get used to the effects he had on her, mind and soul. The whole idea frightened her a bit, for she’d never let anyone affect her so completely…since her mother. But her mother had been using her for her own personally gain, she’d wanted her daughter to be perfect so that she could be regarded more positively in court. Would Geoffrey turn out the same? Would he use her for personal gain? Her intuition and her heart told her it wasn’t that way. But common sense argued that personal gain would be the only reason a male of his status would want to “get” with a girl of her standing…
Klara shook her head as if to clear it, and listened as he apologized. She parted her lips, with her forehead still touching his chest, ready to say something. But then he spoke again, and any doubts she’d had over his intentions went up in a puff of smoke. How could he worry for her this way, and yet be using her at the same time?
Guilt? Not likely.
‘You must be cold.’ In fact, until he said those words, she hadn’t even noticed the temperature change in the barn. A sudden shiver ran up her spine and she finally lifted her head to look up at him, “I really doubt that you are as you say…there’s no way I could picture you hurting deliberately. Or messing everything up, as you said…” She shook her head, going on her tip toes to shyly kiss his chin. Wow, he’d even managed to make Klara Genesis feel timid! A light chuckle threatened to slip past her lips.
“And maybe I am just a little…cold”
She nearly protested when he moved away, but surprisingly held her tongue. Klara would not act like some love-sick teenager. “Could you find me something…here?” And with those words came the realization that she’d made the decision to stay here overnight. She wasn’t planning on getting him naked or anything, but who knew when she’d be free of her bodyguard again? She’d make good use of her time with him. The End.
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