Post by Geoffrey Merchant on Aug 4, 2008 22:41:06 GMT -5
` run DAVID GEOFFREY MERCHANT, run
"I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable."
` are you with me,
YOUR AGE Sixteen
RP EXPERIENCE Six years
CONTACT INFO Private message
HOW DID YOU FIND US MSN message[/size][/ul]
`there's no turning back,
NICKNAMES Jeff, Mercy
AGE & DATE OF BIRTH Eighteen (almost nineteen) born August 30th, 1989
OCCUPATION Stable boy
SEXUAL ORIENTATION Heterosexual
FACE CLAIM Gaspard Ulliel [/size][/ul]
`i'll be waiting,
WEIGHT 180
OVERALL APPEARANCE Jeff is beautiful, for lack of a better word. Not 'hot', not 'cute', and he can't really be categorised as 'handsome'. He has a unique appearance, and the general first thought when someone lays eyes on him, is no thought at all - he has been known to take peoples breath away, although he is either too modest or too blind to know he could possibly have that affect on anyone.
His face is shocking with chiselled features, and a somewhat exotic look. He has high, prominent model-like cheek bones and a hardset, very masculine jaw. His hair is usually styled a tad long and shaggy, gelled up in the front where bangs would be, or spiked into the generic faux-hawk. He doesn't much care for his hair, but he has a knack with it and finds it so easy to do, it would be somewhat silly if he didn't take the minute or two it takes to do it. His eyes are usually what catch people’s attention. They are a stunning, deep sea blue. They can, however, vary according to his mood and the weather. If the skies are gray, whether hanging in the sky or just over him, his eyes tend to follow the color trend. If the sky is a cloudless blue or his mind is spared temporarily of figurative clouds, his eyes will match.
Your body is something you obsess over. It seems to be thought this is more so with girls, but at least with Jeff, this is not true. He can find beauty in every person, no matter their facial features or body mass. Tragically, he can't see any in himself. As previously stated, his unhealthy obsession is likely partially personality and part abuse. The only time he ever feels even remotely pleased with himself is when he knows he hasn't touched unhealthy food that day, and even then only after he has compulsively exhausted himself in his fathers’ home gym. As an after effect of years of following the same habits, his body has formed an appearance that is very desirable.
His shoulders are baud, leading to toned arms. His chest and stomach are slim because of his height, but still firm to touch. The rest of his body is much the same, though you might not assume he would have such a body unless he wore a snug shirt, or you were to see him without clothing.
Jeff is usually dressed in a long sleeved t-shirt with faded jeans. His father may not be an ideal parental candidate, but he still supplies his son with enough funding to dress nice. Maybe a bit nicer then average, but Jeff manages to not be stupid about his spending. He is not a fan of carrying around many heavy objects at a time, so chances are if you see him in class he'll be either wearing or dragging along a backpack with him to hold his school books.
[/size][/ul]
`lace up your shoes,
(in random order)
- Romeo & Juliet, in any form
- Writing - it is his release, his escape
- Reading - he can escape into any story
- Music - it soothes him and inspires him, as it does every other person
- Exercise - although he doesn't come across as the type, he spends a lot of time in his fathers expensive, personalised gym
- Vocals - (a less girly way of saying singing) he absolutely loves it
- Bass Guitar - something he has perfected on his own
- Piano - another art form he has perfected on his own time
- School - unlike most students, he doesn't dislike perfecting and continuing his education
- Food - like every teenage boy, but he'd rather substitute a coke for a water, or a burger for a salad - he's a bit of a weight and health finatic
- Horses - whether it's working with them or just being around them, he feels at home with the large animals
DISLIKES
(in random order)
- Traveling - he's afraid to get lost in an unknown world
- Stormy weather - it always puts him on edge
- Dolls - ever since he was a child they have always creeped him out
- His appearance - partially due to personality and partially due to the view he has of himself because of abuse, he has somewhat of an eating disorder and a compulsion to over exercise
- His father - although he surprisingly doesn't fear him (or won't allow himself to admit he does), he definitely is not partial to him
- Water - not the drinking sort, but open water, where it's too deep or murky to see what's beneath you (to do with trust issues, possibly?)
- Prejudices - he can't stand to watch outright sexism (not, not sexist jokes - he does have a sense of humour), racism, homophobia, and anything pertaining to unfairly judging someone
- Parties - even Jeff can appreciate a good party, but he's not one to go out to just get hammered, and he isn't a fan of the out of control parties, or out of control party people
- Stereotyping - of all types, including when people do it to him
- Ridiculous commercials - hey, why not, right? everyone has silly little things that bug them
STRENGTHS
(strengths not noted throughout...)
- Has a knack with horses
- Is able to relitively easily read other people
- Has almost super human self control
- Cares too much about others
WEAKNESSES
(weaknesses not noted throughout...)
- Has a fear of falling in love
- Will fall in love too easily
- Finds it nearly impossible to trust
- Exceptionally vulnerable
- Cares too much about others
GOALS
- Consciously - get over his social anxiety, and be able to socialise without having his instincts blaring danger when no one is going to hurt him
- Subconsciously - someone to break down the walls. 'nuff said.
FEARS
(in random order)
- Losing someone he cares about
- Eternal loneliness
- His father - even though he may not be willing to consciously admit it to himself
- Water so deep and murky you can't see the bottom
- Dolls
- Storms
- the last 3 are silly little fears he has had since childhood
OVERALL (Paragraph #1 of History was initially written to go with this, as the opening...) Prior, during, and after (well, there has really yet to be an 'after'...) of the years of abuse, Jeff has never been aggressive. In the midst of being viciously attacked, the thought never crossed his mind to try and fight back. He knew it would just cause it to become worse, last longer. Enduring it meant it would end. Jeff, despite being rather tall and somewhat gangly, could probably win in a fight with his father. But it was evident, if you looked closely enough into his eyes, into his heart, that he didn't have the blackness his father so obviously held within himself. Jeff was not capable of turning the tables on his father. He was not capable of sharing his pain, even if it was to end his pain. Jeff was the epitome of selfless.
Through learning to fall into a numb, almost painless black abyss during these maulings, patience and tolerance became a habit. If he ever happened to catch someone crying, or spilling their heart out to another, he tended to notice the one receiving this precious information - words, meaningful words, straight from the gut, innocent and complete and whole - didn't seem to care. The recipient always seemed to be off, away in the distance, like Jeff was during his fathers’ episodes.
Subconsciously these people acted like they were being tortured. And consciously it was torturing Jeff. He was the type that if he was the one lending a supportive ear to a male comrade, or holding the girl, he would listen. He wouldn't just endure it, he would let it sink in, he would process it. He would care. He wanted to have someone to care about. But he was sure he was too broken for anyone to ever love, for anyone to ever really see - to see through the facade, the walls that he had built.
And it wasn't just his low self esteem and consciousness of himself that gave him the feeling of permanent loneliness (and not only in the romantic sense). The aforementioned wall not only kept people out, but kept him in. He was a recluse, afraid of stepping out of his shell. Although he saw regular socialisation, he always assumed people would see in him what his father saw, and either hurt him further, or just walk out of his life as his mother had. The physical abuse could fade in time, but the emotional damage needed healing. And there was no way Jeff could do that on his own.
If one were to attempt, chances are Jeff would be willing to talk. Converse. He might not be able to make perfectly concise sentences, stumbling over words here and there, overanalysing every word before he spoke them, and every word that was spoken to him. If the conversation even teetered in the danger zone, he'd get out of it. Or if he got nervous, he'd react like a threatened animal and find an out. He was the type that it would take a very patient, persistent, compassionate person to even toe towards his walls. To bring them down, or climb over them, seemed an impossible feat. But he was not impossible. Just not trusting, but willing.
(This was initially written after the last paragraph of 'History') As a side note, the extent to which Jeff is broken appears irreparable - but it's not. To observers who do not have the obscured idea of him as his classmates do, they might assume he was weak, both inside and out. However, it is quite the opposite. If it came to a point where someone he cared about, loved, was in danger, he would risk everything to protect them, to save them. All fear would be forgotten in his selfless attempt to keep them unharmed.
Compassionate. Caring. Empathetic. Scared. Patient. Kind. Tortured. Distrustful. Reliable. Strong. Willing.
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`don't tell a soul goodbye,
FATHER David Senior Merchant, 43, father, 'stay at home dad' (otherwise known as a local drug 'distributor')
MOTHER Danicaa Douglas Merchant, 36, mother, masousse
- has been MIA since Jeff was 4
SIBLINGS n / a
PETS n / a
OTHER FAMILY Mallory Marie Merchant, 34, step mother, unemployed
HISTORY Although his birth certificate states his first name is legally David, select few besides his immediate relatives know this tidbit of information. Those who do know are probably only aware because they are administration at school, or a counsellor of some sort. Courtesy of the devastating effects his father, also named David (although, 'Senior' is generally hitched onto the end), had on David Jr., his name is now thought to be his middle name - Geoffrey, or 'Jeff'. A teacher has yet to slip up and call him 'David', because the attendance sheet was altered to "Geoffrey Merchant" rather then "David Geoffrey Merchant" at the request of his sympathetic step mother. Whenever Jeff simply hears the name 'David' roll off an innocent (or sometimes not so innocent) bystanders tongue, it is his instinct to freeze and tense up, ready for either a painful slew of verbal garbage, or a powerful knock to some point on his already battered body.
Jeff was born in New Hampshire the night of August 30th 1989, the product of an accidental pregnancy - made evident by his mother being only 17 at the time of his arrival to the world that would be so completely and utterly ruthless to him. In the beginning, David Senior managed to be a good provider to his unplanned family. The mother of his baby, Danicaa, always had an underlying curiosity and suspicion of her husbands’ means of income, but never pressed him. She matched his income with being an amazing mother to her baby. She lived on bare essentials, along with her baby daddy, to make life as good as possible for baby David.
But not even two years after his birth, things took a turn for the worse. David Sr. began bringing in less and less each month, and Danicaa slipped back into alcoholism. She still managed to be a sufficient mother when she was sober, but she was no longer satisfying the father of her baby. Verbal threats and anger from him escalated one night in a heated argument, which lead to continued rage. After each fight, he always apologised, trying to make up for what he had just done. By little David's fourth birthday, his mother had enough and fled. She had loved her son, yes, but had also resented him and saw him as the bearer of the bad luck and troubled times that had been hovering over her for the past several years. With her disappearance, it appeared as though David Junior's father, David Senior, had silently been thinking the same thing, and now had what he felt justified reason to show it. He blamed his son for Danicaa leaving, and mirrored the violence she had been forced to endure on him.
Nothing changed over the course of the following years. David Sr. found a new wife, who would not leave even when she witnessed the beatings, but did not encourage it. She had learned David Jr. preferred being called by his first name, and she assumed it was due to his not wanting to feel as though he was anything like his father.
(The following 3 paragraphs were initially written to follow the 5th paragraph under 'Overall') When he failed ninth grade, as stated above, it was assumed he had just ditched too much. Which, technically, was true to a degree - he had ditched. But not for the normal teenage reasons like smoking, or drinking, or doing whatever the heck the other 'normal' kids did. He hadn't come to class to keep his father safe. The one causing all the problems, all the damage, was the one he was trying to protect. Because in Jeff's reasoning, he believed the abuse was his fault. That his dad was punishing him for something... but what? Living, maybe.
With the assumption he had failed for ditching to party with some unknown crowd, he seemed to gain a somewhat 'tainted' appearance. People thought he didn't care about his education, which was not true at all. He was an Honour Roll student, always at the top of the class. People seemed to believe his lack of verbalizations and general socialising was because he was too cool for class, too cool to be surrounded by the people he was surrounded by.
They thought he was one of the typical jerks, albeit a quiet one. That if someone so much as accidentally brushed up against him, he'd snap. That belief was partially his fault, though. A taller, broader guy in one of his classes who had sat in the back row had gotten up for a bathroom break. As he had walked past, Jeff had been so into his work, he had broken away from reality. The touch brought him back, and caused him to reel back in his chair, nearly knocking himself and several others out in the process. This had, of course, somehow been interpreted as aggression on his part, because of the marred vision people had of him. Who they thought he was... it was so completely backwards, so completely upside down compared to who he truly is.[/size][/ul]
` here's the countdown,
MEMBER TITLE Civilian
IS MIMI TERRIFIC I'm scared that this is some kind of trick question that I missed the answer to!
RP SAMPLE Dreams. What did they mean? Some said they were glimpses into your future. Others said they were your deepest wishes, your hearts desires. But if any of this were true, then what were nightmares? Were they, too, potential glimpses into your future? It was hard to believe they could even relate to anything you desired. And what if your life was already like a living nightmare? Did nightmares just feel like dreams, or reality? Or did they still have the same effect, no matter the life?
Even with all these questions, dreams and nightmares could never be completely decoded. Everyone had to come up with their own opinion, sculpt their own belief.
Jeff didn't know what he thought of them. All he knew was everything he saw in his sleep, was like nothing he'd ever experienced before, and he assumed, nothing like he'd ever experience.
Yawning, he stretches an arm up and over his eyes, attempting to block out the sun. He knew even before he bothered with the action that it was completely pointless. No matter what he did, there was no plausable way he'd fall back to sleep. He had never slept past 9 in the morning - it was an anxiety thing. His internal alarm, no matter what time he fell asleep at, would not allow him to sleep any later. No matter how tired he may be.
So as he rolled over and saw the numbers "8:59" highlighted in green on his alarm clock, he really wasn't surprised. It was nothing new.
With an exaggerated grunt he sits up, sliding his feet over the edge of his bed. His window was open, allowing a cool breeze to sweep in and give him a little bit of relief from the blistering heat in his room. Standing up, he makes his way to the bathroom, shedding his clothes as soon as he had locked the door. He had learned to always shower first thing, so that his father was still asleep and wouldn't bother him.
The water felt amazing, running down and drenching his already damp back. He closed his eyes, running his hands through his now soaked hair. He never took more then ten minutes to shower, getting in and out quickly just incase his father did wake up. As he stepped tentatively out, listening without breathing... a snore. He hadn't woken David Senior up. Good. With a sharp intake of breath he wraps a towel around his waist and walks out into the hallway, back to his room to pull on fresh clothes. It was the weekend, so he wouldn't bother with his hair. In all honesty, it really didn't look bad - his hair was just short enough that he could pull off the 'shaggy' look without it looking messy.
Sitting down at his computer screen, he gives it a minute to wake up. In that minute, he had a chance to catch a glance of his now dry self in the mirror. He couldn't help but grimace.
The clock read 9:30 - it was probably too early for his poor electronic. With a few clicks of the mouse, he pulls up MSN and Facebook - of course, the people he had added, weren't online. Most of them were probably sleeping off a hangover.[/size][/ul]
HI. Isa made this application template. Not you.
Please don't steal or claim as yours.
Thankyou!
Please don't steal or claim as yours.
Thankyou!
